The birds and the breeze. And me.

I did not have ‘yoga retreat’ on my ‘in this lifetime’ bingo card.

My travels typically include well-planned adventures to big cities and side trips to uncover hidden gems. There are typically 25,000 steps a day, ‘best of’ eats and unique experiences. Any other entry in this blog is more ‘on brand’.

So I can understand why it came as a surprise to many people (including me!) when I booked a Yoga retreat. But, it turned out to be exactly what the universe knew I needed.

The calm, the care, and the connections left me with clarity that I haven’t felt in some time.

Here are some of the things I came home clear on:

The universe has a plan.

I’m not typically a believer in things I can’t see. I grew up in an athiest home where I was mistaken about my religion until I was 8 (in my defense, Jews who hang Christmas stockings is legit confusing to a child). But this week I really felt like some form of ‘the universe’ had my back.

People asked how I’d picked the Mi Vida retreat; it was a good question. As I’d considered the idea of a retreat, I was overwhelmed by choice. Every retreat seemed like a gamble – not enough yoga, too much ‘woo woo’, a plethora of ceremonies and experiences I had never heard of and couldn’t pronounce, a lot of ayahuasca or just plain messy logistics and remote locations that instantly ruled them out.

And just as I was about to book another vacation entirely, a friend sent me a link – a friend of hers had attended and loved a retreat in Tulum last year. So, I took another look.

The dates worked. The flights were easy. The itinerary was varied enough that anything I didn’t like would be short-lived. And it had a recommendation from a friend of someone I trusted. How bad could it be?

As the retreat went on, the organizers wanted to know who had recommended them. I confirmed her name was Agnes – and they confirmed they’d never had a woman named Agnes on their retreat.

I went back to the link and realized that the featured retreats on it rotated, and the one I’d booked was not the one she’d pointed me to. Hilarious. And also, perfect.

Clearly, the universe had a plan, and I’d taken its cue.

All bodies are good bodies.

My favorite fitness studio in Toronto is full of signs that often play on my mind. ‘Your body is a dancer’s body’, ‘I hope your day is as nice as your ass’. The one I thought about often this week was ‘All bodies are good bodies’. The week was one of the few times in my life I’ve been grateful for – and not ashamed of – mine.

In the same way that I’d booked the retreat somewhat blindly, there were a number of planned activities where I had no idea what I was walking into. Acro Yoga? I was expecting aerial silks and the opportunity to fly like Pink. Heliotropic Breathing? I figured we’d sit cross legged and make some OOOOOMMMM noises. Cacao ceremony? Hot chocolate with friends, right? Each of these were not at all what I’d imagined and were so much more engaging, enriching and enticing than I could have anticipated.

In Acro Yoga, I took flight. In our Yin yoga sessions, I learned how good it can feel to stay still. I learned different breathwork methods and how to use them to my advantage. I tried poses that were unfamiliar, and tried to improve on the ones I knew.

I was in deep on whatever came my way, and with that openness in mind, I tried some things. Sometimes, I was encouraged by the warm leaders and supportive travelers around me. And sometimes, I just decided to give something new a try. And even when I didn’t stick the landing, I was pretty frickin’ proud of myself!

Stillness is still time well spent.

Many years ago, I dated a total hippie. He celebrated Solstice as the biggest holiday in his year and had been to Burning Man. He surrounded himself with planet-loving creatives and crunchy types who pot-lucked vegan before it was trendy, and traded tantric tips over matte, herbal teas and other ‘herbs’. We were an odd couple on many levels.

There were a lot of signs that we were not a forever pair. And a moment I keenly remember came back to me this week while I was lying on the mat, taking in my breath and focused on little else.

I remember rushing back to his apartment after my yoga class one morning, so pleased that I’d made it back earlier than expected, with my workout complete. One accomplishment off my daily to do list! “I bolted when they turned the lights off for Shavasanah” I proudly declared. I had work to do, places to get to, and I was there for the activity, not the chill. I figured my body needed to move, and get exercise – not lounge around. The last 10 minutes of the class were for people who didn’t have anywhere to be or anything pressing to do. The relaxing was not, I believed, for people like me.

Needless to say, my spiritual boyfriend was mind blown at this violation of yogic law. “You don’t stay for shavasanah?! You do all the work and don’t let it sink in?!” He was astonished. “That’s the best part”.

It took me 20 years, but I finally realized he was right.

Some of my favorite moments – and core memories – this week were of what I might previously have called ‘nothing’. The feeling of my back against the mat, still. The sound of birds flapping their wings overhead or branches and leaves blowing in the breeze. The sound of rain coming down outside the shala while I focused on simply breathing in and out. None of that felt like nothing anymore; These small things I might previously have ignored were very much worth my attention.

The world is full of good people.

The current daily news often makes it hard to believe that there is much good in the world, but a week like this one was a truly powerful reminder that there are in fact great people in the world, and some of them are also looking for a reset.

Whether in need of a break, regrounding after a loss or at a personal crossroads, the retreat was full of kind, generous people who so quickly created a safe place to just be.

I quickly thought of us as a ‘Breakfast Club’ moment – while we might never see each other again, I have no doubt that we will think of each other often. We shared a time; A sincerely meaningful slice of life.

I hope I helped any of them even a fraction of as much as they each helped me. ❤️

What grows together, goes together.

I love this line and use it often. (Full disclosure, I learned it at Wine Appreciation Class aka. Drinking School, which may be the very antithesis of a yoga retreat!). It’s a line that helps explain how wine and food go together: Pasta => Italian red; French cheese plate => Chablis (and the most important pairing, Champagne => everything … but I digress).

It was hard not to think of that line often this week while we were being fed meals made only of the most delicious and seasonal ingredients. Things that I wouldn’t have put together – Mango and Carrot soup? Delish! Cake made of beets? Seconds please! Berry smoothie bowl with homemade everything in season? Always!

It might have just been my heightened sense of spirituality, but it got me thinking about all other ways to apply this line.

The people who all found their way here were also growing. In just a few short days, we all grew, together. And maybe that’s why we ‘went together’ so well, too. I thought about this during our Cacao ceremony, a meaningful experience that I’ll think of often.

One of the remarks during the Cacao ceremony was about connection – that we’re not disconnected, but we need to be more connected.

I came away thinking about connection a lot. Which connections in my life can be strengthened? Where are there common threads that can be built on? What unseen connections exist if we look harder for them? I’m looking for them differently now.

There are signs, everywhere.

This point of clarity mostly speaks for itself. Both metaphorically, and physically, there were so many signs to take note of this week. It was a vibe, and I was here for it.

Here were some of my tangible favorites:

I am what I choose to become.

“I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become” was a quote on a sign that really spoke to me (see 👆above). While I might have arrived carrying things I was happy to leave behind, this quote summed up what I wanted to take home.

It had been foreshadowed by the quote handwritten in the journal that was waiting for me on arrival:

One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; Fear must be overcome again and again.

This week had been an amazing moment to take stock of what felt good in my life – and what could make it even better.

Instead of a week of physical fitness through Yoga, I left feeling like so much of my newfound strength was mental, an inner strength to frame it in the cheesiest, and truest, way possible.

It was like a door had been opened, and I can’t wait to see where it continues to lead…